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Kaashvi!

By

Roy & Dee Kay

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The rumbling sky accompanied by the damping rain disguised the approaching footsteps. The adrenaline rush, the accelerating heart rate, and the long wait for his return pushed my cycle of thoughts off balance. I leapt over him as soon as he opened the door and a familiarity took over the room. He held me in his arms that were as strong as shackles and threw me on the rug. I fell on my back as I saw him standing on top of me. I leaned forward clasping his shirt’s collar and hauling him towards me. The proximity between us reduced from 10 years worth of wait to just few inches in our present. He has dominated my thoughts enough for him to be in a dominating position as I rolled him over to pin him down. I pulled out the handcuffs from the back pocket of my trouser and locked myself with him. I smiled at his puzzled and surprising look only to push me off him. There we were, after a decade of being apart, lying on the rug facing the thatched roof and waiting in the silence of the rain.

“Why Yuv?”, I turned my face towards him while gliding my body closer to his as both of us lay on the battered rug. The drops of rain resiliently poured all around soaking the mud and imbuing an earthly fragrance in the scorching heat of the summer afternoon.

“Kaashvi. I have already told you everything,” Yuv tried to dodge me as usual only to further my curiosity. He knew that I wanted to know everything yet he fed me bits and pieces that he felt were important while veiling the essential ones with his smoulder looks.

“You call that everything?” I questioned as this time it was not the same. I already knew the entire story, the evident and the hidden parts of it, yet I wanted to hear him say it. I have known him since childhood so I knew about the secretive nature of his personality.

Yuv, a name that was once incomplete without Kaashvi following it, and the two were inseparable. Our relationship has seen so many colourful facets while we grew up together that I think no one can brand it under one role-definition; not even me. The complexity that comes with the entangled strings of emotions trying to go their separate ways makes me wonder if Yuv ever spared a moment to think of what we have become over the years. It started from journeying through the streets of our town as neighbours, me writing assignments for both of us, him fending off the rowdy boys I fought within the college, setting each other up for dates, drinking after those failed dates, and to finally accepting our fate as friends with benefits.

The latter part was the one that stayed consistent once the puberty hit us only to make us realise that the home study sessions need not be just about the books and the isolated college library could be our secret heaven. We preferred us like we were. No complications. No commitments. No expectations. It was easy. It was what we wanted. Everything between us had been exactly the same until he ran away.

“I need to know Yuv. I have spent a decade searching you like a lunatic. I have earned the right to know.” my tears blended with the raindrops that penetrated through the roof and fell on my already damped face. I longed for his touch. I craved for his embrace. He was so close me to me yet I could feel the huge void that was keeping him at a distance.

“I have already told you everything.” He repeated looking straight into the abyss of the ceiling. I knew he was struggling within to decide how much to divulge infront of me.

I could comprehend his every expression no matter how perfectly he tried to disguise it. He may be able to fool everyone but me. I have seen all of his sides from the very vulnerable to the strongest. His indirect show of emotions would lead me to the real reason behind those moods in the past. I knew his face better than himself as he has been inside of me so many times that I have become familiar with what his body wishes to say. In those intimacy-filled instances, he would often slip the veil to reveal the truth of his mind while enabling me to understand even what his head tries to hide. I do miss myself lying on top of him as he fills me in with every tinge of our nameless relationship and so now being next to him makes me feel an alien. I wonder whether he was the one showing me his shades or was it me who ended up trading her complete devotion for an unemotional pleasure trip. I had always been helpless in front of him, as I would turn myself into whatever he wanted me to be, without any question or complaint. Not that it was what I wanted but it was what kept me in his bubble.

Even at this moment, I could only stare at his face and drown in his fragrance. His thick beard has grown since I last saw him and the trimmed head suits him better. Those blue eyes have lost the ignorant shine to fetters of his deeds. His smooth skin and the aesthetic body tone of which I was once a fanatic admirer have turned into a rough and craggy texture.  The buttonless white shirt ripped at multiple places barely covered him while the blue jeans seemed to have been worn for ages. I kept scanning him from top to bottom and every nooks and corner of his body while he stayed with unflinching calmness, unaffected of why we were there lying in the small hut out in the woods of nowhere or unmoved by seeing his old best friend or whatever he thought of me after so long.

But one thing still remained the same, I wallowed to him just like a flimsy tree that bends on the will of the wind. He was still the Yuv for me who defined my existence and for whom I could go lengths of the world. My mornings once began in his soaked tight snuggles and nights ended with his flesh blending in mine. I lay lost in our past trying to build the bridge to tread over his absence from my life when he turned his face to me all of a sudden. His eyes were as cold as the pearls that have seen the depth of sea for centuries. I tried to find myself in them, the old us, yet all I saw was a ghost looking straight into me.  As he turned towards me, I felt myself being dragged towards him as the steel handcuffs cut through my wrist and yanked me. He always had the over empowering strength over me.

“Kaashvi! I am done talking.” His stares were as serious as his voice. He continued.

“You found me and there is nothing more for me to say so do what you came here to do,” Yuv spoke smothering every emotion that could hinder his voice.

I stayed facing towards him while my uniform has blotches of his blood. His indifferent attitude was a facade of his weak and helpless life. He knew he could never surrender his masculine egoistic persona, at least not infront of me, yet he knew deep within him that I was no more the same Kaashvi. My sugar-coated words were just a trap for him and that I could never forgive him. It is nearly impossible to let go of someone who has been the mastermind attacks that had taken so many innocent lives. It is unfathomable to allow the life of someone who had forsaken humanity. It is unacceptable to let someone continue to play with feelings of an entire nation.

“I feel pity for you.” He turned his face hearing those words pouring out of me as I continued.

“Not because you suffered as a consequence of trying to satisfying your ego but because your ego stopped you from seeing the love that you had in your life,” I spoke with utmost conviction in my voice as he turned to look at me.

He kept looking at me with a realization of this Kaashvi resembling nothing to the one he once knew and left behind.

“You’re such a coward,” I said looking straight into his eyes.

“You did what gave you power over others even if it meant death for them but now look at you. You are so powerless.” I continued as he looked away once again. I spotted the steel bar that Yuv used to defend himself under the table a little further from us as I kept on talking while reaching out for it.

“I knew I would find you one day. The only thing that separated me from you was the amount of time.” I stretched to get the rod by my side as the fingers were scrapping its side. I made sure that the words that came out of mouth would buy me enough time to grasp the rod.

“You were never the man you thought you were and to fill in this void of insecurity, you used people as if they were nothing,” I said as I finally got a hold of the rod.

“Now take a good look at this face for this gonna be the last one that your crimes would see” He was too clever to sway from my conversation yet I was quick to decipher him unseating the blade hidden in his left boot. As he was about to strike me with the dagger, I yanked the handcuffs and pulled him towards me. He rolled onto me like a dried up log. I looked deep into his eyes; those blue eyes that once reflected our future together now just looked shallow and a stranger to me.

“The truth is that YOU ARE NOTHING.” I clutch steel bar and plunged it in his abdominal, slowly, so that he could feel every bit of pain and shame of his deeds. He blurted out blood off his mouth and his blade helplessly receding off his grip as I twisted the bar inside him. He lay on top of me as his breath slowly faded into the abyss.

The next instant, a swarm of police officers barged through the cracked door. They helped me with removing the handcuffs while making me stand. I limped as I staggered holding them for support. I looked around and smiled at them as the rest gave away a salute.

“DCP ma’am, why did not you wait for back-up! He was recorded as the most notorious criminal till date and so many good officers lost their lives in his search “  the head constable showed his concern as he dragged Yuv’s lifeless body out of the hut into a body bag.

“Dubeyji…she is Kaashvi, she may be new to our area but we are aware of her style…so get used it…” everyone burst into laughter while I glanced a last look at Yuv’s face as the zipper locked him away forever.

I smirked at myself. MY STYLE. What that could be!

May it was what this ironical existence of me left me as a pity gift while transforming me from being a prey to a predator but that story is for some other time.

For now, take a good look at me for your crimes will die before this same face. I am Kaashvi and I am the face of justice.

Over and out!


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