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The Thoughts

By Dee Kay & Roy

( Follow Dee on Instagram, Follow Roy on  Instagram  )


 

I once heard a wise man say, ‘It’s not the destination but the journey that matters’, and ever since those words made a home inside this mind of mine. The more I tried to unravel the meaningfulness of those words the deeper I began to plunge into its profoundness. Is the destination just like that lighthouse that helps guide the lost ships from the unknown seas to the shore? Maybe the journey is like those unknown seas that can be either a smooth sail or a rough bargain. I think the mind has yet to learn some more valuable lessons before it can truly decode the meaning behind a quote like that.

The rested that thought with more questions than answers as I made myself more comfortable under the quilt while the light post sprung past the window of the train. The night was still very young so is the ascending moon. It was a night of the full moon as it spread its white light across the dark landscape only to fight for more space with the yellow light of the streetlights. Who said that the fight could only be between darkness and light? At times, it is the lights that fight among themselves for dominance over the darkness.

Light against the light.

Power against power.

Right against the right.

BUT

Does light be more relevant without darkness or it would lose its purpose of existence if there is no darkness?

Another thought sprung into the mind as I stared at the vast countryside from the window of the moving train. Afar streetlights struggled to overcome the widespread darkness while the moon tried its best to diminish the extent of blackness covering the landscape. The invisible fight between the two became more relevant to the bored mind of mine, as I was affixed to the window. The occasional sound of the train horn would distract me for a bit but soon the majestic fight, between the two forces that are absolutely entangled to each other’s existence for their own relevance, would captivate my attention back to them.

“Chai… Garam chai… Chai…”, a tea seller walked past me as his distinct voice sucked me from the enigmatic thoughts. I adjusted myself in my seat as his eyes fell on me. Our eyes met. He just kept staring at me without even blinking and I don’t know why but I asked for a cup of tea. He immediately began to pour the tea while I kept thinking as to why I felt the instant urge to break the eye contact that I ended up ordering. Did I just order out of guilt for something? Or did he just tricked me into ordering by making that overly long eye contact?

“10 rupees…”, He said as he handed me the small cup of hot tea. The train was shaking as usual so I carefully placed the cup next to me. I didn’t want to spill it all over me and get burned, twice; one for ordering something I didn’t want and two for literally spilling it over myself.

“How much?”, I asked to buy myself some time. I mean seriously, why do I even need to feel guilty for making him wait? It’s his job. Human behavior and emotions are way too complicated for this small mind of mine.

“10”, He said and this time I could hear the irritation in his voice that made me a little annoyed but feel a lot more guilty so I hastily paid him. He left just the way he came, saying ‘Chai… Garam Chai…’

I took a sip of the tea only to realize that it was way too hot than my hand sort it to be. Why am I so dumb? I smiled for myself as that thought reminded me of so many stupid things that I have done over my lifespan on this earth. From calling names to the teachers to embarrassing myself after a few drinks, I have done quite a few blunders of superior lunacy. The best part about it is that instead of feeling a bit ashamed I was actually proud of it. Maybe because I once read, ‘To be old and wise, one should be young and stupid first.’

It felt like the train began to slow down. Maybe a station is nearby. Just then, I heard someone hurdling down from the upper-berth seat. I was curious to see who this person in such a hurry is so I turned to see. The girl took her luggage out and stood up to leave for the door.

AND

Our eyes met.

*** ***

I hate traveling on a train especially these boring upper berths with nowhere to look except the dull metal roof. Why do the railways have to paint the roof in such bland color that they look so lifeless? I think they just want people traveling in the upper berth to feel so disinterested in the travel that they end up sleeping the whole way through the journey. And then they say, ‘It’s not the destination but the journey that matters’. I mean if the journey isn’t colorful or eventful then people will only wait for the destination and disown the journey.

What is it really about the journey or the destination? Personally, I think it’s the destination that matters because if you don’t think of a destination to reach then how would one even start a journey in the first place, correct? Obviously, I am correct because I know what I think is what I have experienced in life.  I don’t live by the rules and regulations laid down by books, people, or society yet without rules and regulation a life would be full of chaos so I follow my own principles that are based on life experiences.

I wish I had a window seat, at least, I could look outside and distract myself but it’s already night time so even the window seat would have been useless. The darkness outside would try to take over the light inside the train and in their struggle, the reflection of yourself would be visible on the windowpane separating both. Gosh! Why am I thinking so much? Maybe because I am a girl and girls have 20% more thoughts than guys.

“Chai… Garam chai… Chai…”, I heard the tea vendor as he walk past my seat. I tried to sit up only to end up hitting the roof. The hell with the tea and that man who walked past in such a hurry that he didn’t even care to see whether someone would wish to buy some tea or not. I don’t know why am I so annoyed. Is it because I didn’t get the tea that I wanted or because I bang my head on the roof. It still hurts thinking about how stupid I was to not realize how close I am to the roof that I cannot sit on my seat. Well, that is what it is and I just hope no one saw me hit my head because that would be really embarrassing for me. I seriously do not wish to feel ashamed of another mistake of mine in public.

Why is the train slowing down? What’s the time? SHIT!!! It’s almost 8… I think my station is approaching. Why do I have to think so much rubbish that I always miss out on the important things? I need to rush now. Get down fast. Put on the shoes. Get my luggage and move out quickly. Fast… Fast… Fast…

Why is that GUY staring at me?

*** ***

SHIT! She saw me look at her. Now, she would think I am just another pervert looking at her. I should look away.

GOD! Why do you always have to put someone to witness the stupid things that I end up doing? Is he still looking?

I shouldn’t have turned to look at her but I didn’t do anything wrong. I mean I just wanted to see who was in such hurry and that doesn’t

Hehehehe… That guy looks scared as if I caught him in the act or something. Who cares till the time he is not noticing my stupidity.

She is walking toward me. I need to pretend like I am looking outside. But what am I looking at?

I just hope he does not notice the stain on my bag. Walk carefully. Don’t trip. Don’t embarrass yourself, girl.

Here she comes. Pretend like you’re really busy. Don’t look at her.

Walk carefully. Don’t look at him. Look straight.

SHIT!

GOD!

The eyes met again.

He looks sweet.

She is so pretty.

Don’t smile at him. You know how guys are. They always take a smile in the wrong way.

Please don’t give her your awkward smile. She would seriously think that I am a pervert.

GOD!

SHIT!

They smiled.

RUN RUN RUN…

LOOK OUTSIDE… OUTSIDE…

Ahhh!!! Finally, I am out of the train.

At last, she is outside. Now, I can relax.

Don’t turn to look at his window. GIRL, don’t you dare turn… GOD NO!

Why is she turning? She must be trying to see if I am still staring at her. Look away. Look away. SHIT!

Ahhh! He must be thinking about how desperate I am for attention. I am such a dumbo.

I just hope she didn’t notice me looking at her. Wait! The window is tinted so she can’t see me. GOSH!!! That’s a relief.

Just walk away silly girl… WALK WALK…

I just wonder how her journey might have been. Was it good or bad? Was it as she expected or unexpected? I hope it would have been good like mine, or even better than mine.

The train is about to leave. I just hope his destination would be better than the journey. He seems to be a decent guy. GOD, I need to stop over-thinking.

I just hope

the best for

HER

HIM


Follow Dee Kay on Instagram, Follow Roy on  Instagram


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