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your Hatred my Love!

By

Roy & Dee Kay

( Follow Dee on Instagram, Follow Roy on  Instagram )


What do you call a person who lives his life in his own musings?
What do you say to a person who ruminates in his own losses?
What if those musings are borne our of his losses?

These cryptics questions are smiling at your confused looks. Even your confused looks have the capability to entice my heart. I am so deeply entwined with every detail in your expression that even a slight smile of yours becomes my entire story; even a little teardrop of yours becomes my sleepless agony.

You are musing to which I have lost myself. The memories of mine have been marred with your presence. The silence and the noise around me seem alike only the difference is that in former I feel your fragrance and in the latter, I hear your voice. The more I try to move away from you, the closer I find myself drifting towards you. Even today, I can feel the vibrations in your breath when your soft lips grazed over me. I can listen to the rise and fall of your beats that left a tingling sensation of calmness as you slept in my arms.

Only if you had known that love was not in the breadth of the words rather the depth of the actions, you would have realised this fanatic’s devotion to you. Yet I don’t blame you to whatever happened to us. It is my sheer inability to have any feelings for you other than love. When my mind decides to blame you, the heart defies those accusations by amplifying the little affection shown by you. On the other hand, when my heart wants to hate you, the mind zooms into your smiles. Those smiles have the immense capacity to make me love you for forever.

To others, I would appear a lunatic who is left at the mercy of his memories; a crazy who is no more capable to come to his senses; a maniac whose thoughts have alienated his sanity yet in reality, I will always be nothing more than just a silly lover of yours whom you have left alone incapacitated of the ability to hate you.

In every fake expression of yours, I witnessed the scared buried emotions while my soul melted each moment looking at your face. In every empty promise of yours, I felt the urge within you to set yourself free while each time I found myself getting imprisoned to those words. In every fabricated lie of yours, I sensed your reluctance to continue further while I kept myself assuring that my emotions could turn everything around. Even if I knew that it is an illusion to feel powerful when one is in love, I could have not stopped myself from loving you any less.

Why does your bitterness for me taste sweeter than your love?
Why does your absence from my life has left me in abundance of us?
Why does your look while evading me makes me think you miss me?

Neither I complain nor I regret. I know that our roads are meant to cross again when your realisation will complete a full course but then your affection for me won’t matter anymore for my heart, by that time, would be left with just the capability…

…only to love your hatred…

 


Follow Dee on Instagram

Follow Roy on  Instagram


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