To read the first three parts of the series, Read Below:
I dreamt of you.
In my dreams, I saw your unblemished face beaming at me. You hairs were caressing my face and your captivating fragrance was exploding over my senses. The svelte figure of yours was wallowing in my cuddles while your sleek skin was mollifying the ruggedness of mine by momentarily grazing over them. I held your hand and intertwined my fingers with yours, never to let go of you again. I gripped the clutch with all my strength yet making sure I don’t hurt you and all you did was smile at my childish tenacity. You came closer to me and nuzzled at my nose before planting a kiss on my forehead. Then you came near to my ear and whispered something.
It seemed as if I could listen to your murmur clearly. But the instant you completed your sentence, I woke up only to find the dark night staring back at me. You were not there beside me anymore, baby, yet I could feel that fragrance of yours. My hand lay bare, desolate and untangled and yours was nowhere to be seen yet the softness of your grip was still warm in it. Your kiss on my forehead seemed to be dried up with the culmination of my dream yet I could feel the dampness of your moist lips over it. Though it was just a trance, everything appeared vivid to me. The only thing that I could not recall was what you whispered to me. I pushed my mind hard to recall but failed to even recollect in bits the things you said.
The inability to remember them was driving me crazy. I got up from my bed and went outside on my porch. I sat on the hammock chair – your favorite place to hang out when you became nostalgic or wanted to have a soulful conversation with yourself. You may not know this but I always used to stand at the door and watch you swinging in that chair with a glass of white wine in your hand while your eyes remained fixated to the moon. Sometimes it made me jealous of how you opened your heart to that faraway moon as it winked back to you always.
Midnight was still too young to be sheathed with the approaching dawn and so I had few minutes left to have a short tryst with your moon. I stared at the whitish glow of its incandescence and played the dream again in extremely slow motion to remember what you had muttered to me. I could see the movement of your lips, the rise and fall of your heart beats and the gasp in your breaths. I was in your reverie once again; only this time I had the company of your moon to keep your imageries from vanishing. As you were about to drift away, I saw the moon to wink at me, making me realize that I now remembered every word that you had whispered to me…
I smiled to myself. You were so adamant with my bucket list that you were not going to let me take a break from it. You would even remind me of them in my dreams. My smiles started to convert into giggles and finally ending up in a burst of laughter. You really are
are enjoying watching me from above while I complete that to-do list of yours that you left behind for me.
I got up from the chair and entered the house, making my way towards the attic above our bedroom. I pulled down the folding ladder and stepped in that small space. The whole area was cluttered with boxes. At one corner of the room, I found the bag I was searching for. It was covered in dust as it wasn’t opened since you passed away. I picked it up and sat on the floor. Through the small window of my attic, the moon kept following me. I blew the dirt from the bag before unzipping it and uncovered the guitar that lay in slumber inside it. Holding the guitar in my hands, I instantly felt you sitting beside me. The guitar held some of the indelible memories of our love story. I strummed the chords, letting away a raucous melody from those out of tune strings.
I smiled at the moon who reflected its glow over me, assuring me that you were beaming at me from above while I sat there playing the favorite song of ours.
one more task accomplished…
and with it a bit of my lost-self found back to me…
beholding the love and reminisces of …
you & me…
I love you baby
I miss you, baby,
I will always
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