Let’s Talk !

Dear Friends,

I feel at times that the posts become more of a monologue, where in we express our feelings via poems/stories/photographs etc and recieve your support via the lovely comments.

But, I wish it could be more of a dialogue sometimes where we can actually talk to one another. So, here it is a step from our side to know you and share some quality time with you.

Let’s Talk about our fears.

WHAT DO U FEAR ?

Leave a Comment. Dee Kay and I would surely love to talk and share about ours and yours FEARS.

I would also request the readers to reply to others comments, so that it seems more of a bunch of friends chatting over pint of beers…

Regards

Roy

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152 comments

  1. Has to be ‘Fear of failure’ and constant judgement (not that I really pay heed to it… in some small way it does affect you)
    If there was no thing as ‘fear of failure’ or ‘being judged’, that would be just the perfect world, wouldn’t it?

    …and of course of cockroaches… those pesky creatures.

    Liked by 1 person

    • This fear of failures makes us adamant to overcome them. Yet the most important thing is are we ready to face them…coz beyond those fears lies a person who is the best version of urself…

      People will keep judging…no matter what you do…we can never be perfect for them…and we don’t need to…since it is your life and you are the one to decide how u wanna live it. Most often we do things or live the way people want us to…we sacrifice our dreams and passion in the process…why walk on the path that one has already walked upon…create a new path for urself…make ur own destiny coz u r your sculptor…carve out the best version of urself… Judging is easy but believing in oneself is challenge…

      Regards
      Roy

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Well, I have come to understand that there is no fear in Perfect Love and that Love is the only real thing in existence; so when I find myself returning to old fears which seem consuming, I remind myself of this. My favorite passage of encouragement comes from a work I read some years back~”Nothing real can be threatened, nothing unreal exists.” If only Love is real we should never fear not having it. I believe fear to be the antithesis of love and that most of our emotional fears, those not physically present in our world, come from a sense of lack. Fear causes so much turmoil, violence and chaos. Acceptance of our humanity, including its fears, is the first step in healing the sense of lack that debilitates our forward progress as a species.

    Like

    • Hey Kristian…how u doing brother…
      Well the moment u take everything with all the courage within, the determination in you will indeed defeat the fear around you. The bravest thing is to own that you have your fears and you have decided to battle them…that is huge source of inspiration…
      sometimes is not the wins but the attitude…

      Regards
      Roy

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m afraid of being useless, a burden to my husband and children. I have several chronic illnesses and spend many days in bed, unable to function. Those days are becoming more frequent and more painful.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hey there..
      Don’t beat yourself for something that isn’t your fault. You took care of your husband and your children when they needed it the most. I am pretty sure they have never even thought of you as a burden.
      You are a loving wife, a wonderful mother, and a beautiful human, this is what defines you and not your illnesses.

      Stay strong

      Dee Kay

      Liked by 2 people

    • Hi lynnetteok, I have a friend who has much the same issue, except no children or husband. She tries not to accept help because she doesn’t want to be a burden to anyone. Buuuut, she’s trying to remember that when she allows someone to do something for her, she is giving them the chance to experience the blessing of helping. I’m also reminded of my great grandmother, and my husband’s grandmother. Both of these women were confined to bed for different reasons, yet they still contributed to their families. They offered advice when it was asked for, they gave emotional support, they listened, they gave undivided attention to their loved ones (they were in bed after all, they couldn’t go anywhere, and this was before cell phones). My suggestion is to focus on what you can do on those bed-ridden days. If the most you can do is tell them to have a good day as they leave the house, they have that to help them through the day, your encouragement. Stay strong, remember you are more than your illness and your family loves you as you love them.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Thank you very much for your encouragement. You bring up a valid point. My daughter had to move about 12 hours away from me (her husband is Army) and I’ve always told her that I’m still close…only a phone call away. I’ve never connected that to when I’m stuck in bed, but it makes sense.
        Thank you for your compassion and taking the time to respond to me. You made a difference today. (((Hugs)))

        Liked by 1 person

    • I understand this totally. I too spend a lot of time in bed following serious advanced cancer that made me blind and put me in a wheekchair. I too feel useless a lot of the time. But we can WEITE and connect with others. It is great

      Like

      • You’re right. It is great. Nita’s response really helped me see if in a different way.
        I’m sorry for your situation and I appreciate you taking the time to respond with so much encouragement 🤗

        Liked by 1 person

        • You are most welcome. Yes, I guess there are benefits. But it IS hard. I don’t downplay that at all. So many frustrations, and at times it can make you feel quite black. I have my bad days too. Sometimes I write about my blacker times. But I think that that helps other to connect with us. If we write our honest feelings it connects us with others. Lovely to have met ylu Lynette. Must look for you blog, if I have not already done so. Take care. Stay in touch. Xx

          Like

          • Oh bless you. That is so kind. I checked your Blog out too. It looks great but I read the About Me page and could not see where to click to see your writings. I would love to follow you and read your wirds too. Could you tell me where to cluck please? You are so kind to say such nice things about my poetry. Thankyou xx

            Like

          • Thank you for pointing that out to me. I’ll go fix it right away. In the meantime, if you click on the “menu” button it will give you a choice to go to blog posts. You can follow from there. I hope you’ll enjoy the posts. 🤗

            Liked by 1 person

          • Thanks so much Lynette. It is just me because I am blind and use Apps to read things but could not find where to go. Your About Mempage is stunning. Wow! To have all that to deal with. A bit like me too. We could encourage each other. I have constant pain too. But I do like to write pisitive things that have resulted from my experience of pain and suffering. There are times,nthough, when I just write the pain in its rawness. Hope I can find my way to your writings. Hugs to you Lynette xx

            Liked by 1 person

          • I made it easier to get to the blog posts. When I opened the page it looked confusing to me too.
            So while your blindness probably made it more difficult, hopefully the changes I made will make it easier for everyone.
            I agree, we could definitely encourage each other. I wish there was a way to communicate personally on here, rather than only public responses. I definitely think we should stay in touch. One of my favorite things about this blog is making new friends

            Like

  4. Although I am going to be 18, I have a love life for 2.5 years. A beautiful and amazing one. But my parents do not like love marriages. I was beaten and told to forget him and blah blah blah. I do concentrate a lot on studies not on love itself, but I have my darkness in which I longed to be loved by someone, when nobody loved me. I am scared and fearful that my parents will not accept this.
    I am afraid of all insects – including butterflies – No I am not crazy 😛
    I am fearful of moving away from my best friends – my siblings. I love them so much, but I have to go one day.
    I am scared that I might not be able to study Psychology, since I am not a really smart student and finance does not support my family.

    Liked by 2 people

    • You’re just 17 so it’s obvious your parents won’t accept your relationship (especially since you are in India). Even I would say that your priority should be your studies as it would help you be financially independent in the future that would help you present your case to your parents in the future and there would be higher chance that they won’t be able to say anything if you have the money to get married yourself. 🙂

      Well, insects are creepy..

      If you want to fly then one day you have to leave the comfort and protection of the nest.

      The best part about psychology is that it is a study of human behavior as well as mental state so you won’t have to study a lot but observe and understand. Its not rocket science. They say “If you think you can or you cannot, you’re correct both ways”, so its better to be correct saying you can.

      Dee Kay

      Liked by 1 person

      • I am not in India, nor am I from India.  But my language hails from the South of India, and I love to call myself an Indian. The problem is not my age bro. It is that no love marriages are accepted. And me and studies: I love studying, in class I am a top performer and all, but in exams it is kinda the opposite. Few years back I got the Diamond award of school which means I topped the school. But after I moved to the new school, I have been experiencing some things that is not so sweet. From ragging to bullying to teasing, I just see them daily for 4 years now. The unfair gradings of teachers and all those stuff, just demotivates me. My parents don’t believe when I tell them, so its all to myself. Yes insects are omg. I love psychology, the reason is, I had times when I had to seek a psychologist. I still go through counselling. My psychologist and also a priest, admired me and I got inspired by him. I know many people face things in life and all they need to do is TALK. I wanna be present for them

        Like

        • Well Sri Lanka and India have been great friends from many years so I can understand.. Plus we have alot in common too.. 😊

          I am army brat so I can understand how difficult it can be to adjust to new people and school.. Just hang in there.. You will be fine 😊

          It’s a nice thing to see a young girl like you thinking about helping others in the future. I try to do the same in my life. 😊

          Liked by 1 person

  5. I fear losing myself to the real world…

    Since childhood I learned to do the right thing, no matter what comes in my way, I learned to be courteous, I learned to be respectful, I learned to be giving & forgiving & all that makes us a good human being!

    But, now that I am in the real world…a world so delusional, full of lies, selfishness & show-off…I am really scared! I am really finding it difficult to be the same person…I don’t want to turn in to someone I don’t want to become! But it’s really tough, I never thought it could be so difficult to hold on to my own self….

    Liked by 1 person

    • so true Deepika. I can relate to what you mean. This situation is similar to what I feel. The principles and values that make the core of me, seems so different than the actual world. Indeed there are people worth to be friends with but they are very rare and difficult to come across. We either become a part of the system if we keep following what we are expected of or we lose our identity. In case we try to hold on to our uniqueness we become an outcast. To reach on the top rung…to be the alpha…there are innumerable sacrifices that one has to commit wherein the biggest one is to bury your principles.

      This doesnt mean that I advise you to do that. Rather I would always wish to go for the impossible and be the example. Do the thing that people would never think that you could do. Prove them wrong and make them believe that doesnt matter how dark the world could be, you can always create a firework in it and shine like a star…

      Roy

      Liked by 1 person

      • I am happy that you can relate to my fear….
        Thanku for understanding and again for inspiring! We have to be strong and we have to think positive 🙂

        Like

  6. I fear being alone for the rest of my life and not being loved by anyone. I also fear not achieving my goals and creating the life that I truly want for myself. I fear that I’ll become someone I don’t want to be – an angry, depressed and broken person beyond repair… I really do fear not being loved and the truth is, that’s already happened and it’s happening right now. I don’t feel loved by anyone and it’s a horrible feeling to have.. I sincerely hope that nobody has to feel this way. Does anyone here share some of my fears? Also, I loved the idea for the post, Roy and Dee Kay. It’s a great way to start a conversation about something that matters to most of us. Thanks guys! ☺️

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hey Mvadi,
      This fear is actually shared by many people in some or the other way, including myself. I won’t say that I don’t feel loved but yeah I fear of not achieving the goals I have set and also ending up alone at the end of my life.
      But I think it’s all in our head. We all have atleast 1 or 2 person in our lives that we can rely on. That 1 or 2 friend/s love us so we always have someone who love us. If we seek romantic connection then it’s a different story as not all are lucky enough to find their soul mate but I always tell myself that I can either keep on believing that one day a person will come in my life who would truly love me or I can just love myself to the extend that till the time that person comes I won’t give up on love. 😊

      We are glad that our small concept is able to bring some many people from across the globe a little closer to each other in some or the other way .

      Dee Kay

      Liked by 2 people

      • Hey Dee Kay,
        In that case, I’m glad to know that I’m not the only one. Yes, I agree. Sometimes my sadness gets the best of me and I feel like no one really loves me or cares about me but I’m pretty sure that there are people who care about me in my life. I don’t have many friends, maybe 1 or 2, but it feels enough because they’re so great and kind. I’m glad you feel that way too. I love how you think about that! It’s a very positive approach to take and you really never know when love will arrive at your doorstep. It’s great that you believe in self-love. I’m trying to love myself and I’m actually starting to realize that I’m a happier person. I’m glad you won’t give up. I hope I don’t either. Still have a long road ahead of me!🙈

        It’s definitely serving the purpose!😄

        Mvadi

        Liked by 1 person

        • I always remind myself that if I have even a single person who love me for who I am then it’s a life worth it. We often get so caught up in the illusion of standard of happiness created by the society, movies and books that we forget to define the term happiness for ourselves. I know it’s a long road ahead so keep your head up and smile as you take one step at a time, my friend.

          Dee Kay

          Liked by 1 person

          • Thank you for the valuable advice, my friend. I’ll definitely keep going and strive to make self-love my first priority, one step at a time. I know it isn’t easy but I think it’s time to change my idea of happiness for my own sake. And you’re right. Ever since we were kids, we were taught to believe that happiness was something you had to find and that it was something external. (The Prince Charmings in the Disney movies and so forth) But after a really long time, I’ve come to believe that happiness is a profound feeling that comes from within. It’s a feeling that too many people long for without knowing that they have the power to feel it and they don’t necessarily need anyone else to make them happy, if they have themselves because they matter the most.

            Mvadi

            Liked by 1 person

  7. I’m afraid of the person in my mirror who keeps telling me to cut the heads off of everyone in the grocery store next door. He looks like me but he’s not me. He shows me the congealed blood lying motionless on the white tiles, bubbles lazily popping as it cools.

    That and baking. Baking is fucking mortifying.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Okay.. This is really serious.. You should go and talk to a professional psychiatrist who can help you understand what you are going through because thinking of murdering people is VERY SERIOUS. You might be joking or maybe not but that idea is scary so I urge you to seek the help of professional..

      Dee Kay

      Like

      • Have you read any of my stuff? Guess not….

        Okay, serious face, “Grrrrr!”

        I’m truly afraid of the space between my bed and the floor; often I jump to my bed from several feet away because there’s something under there that wants to grab me and keep me there with it. I’m afraid when I turn my back to the empty darkness in my room as I go to sleep; in my head I see a woman standing there, decomposing with wispy white hair, staring at me as her teeth reflect what little ambient light is present.

        These are legit things that terrify me; the only things, to be honest. Curious that my fears are psychosomatic, and other’s are external stressors of everyday life….

        My first post is A JOKE. Except for the baking bit. Truly, truly the worst scenario imaginable.

        -Joey

        Liked by 1 person

  8. I do have a morbid fear of spiders… one time the house was shaking and the first thought that came to my mind, was that a giant spider was on my roof shaking the house(turns out it was a minor earthquake) 🙈… persons usually laugh when I tell them this but my fears are real. I also have a genuine fear that one day whilst I’m bathing at the beach, a giant sea monster will come up out of the waters and start eating everyone🙈🙈. Most of all though, I fear growing old because I do not wish to lose memories I’ve treasured… I had the experience of taking care of my grandfather who had alzheimer’s and after a while he couldn’t remember us. I never want to forget those I love… if I lose memories of moments spent with loved ones, then what would be the point in it all?… that’s my worst fear

    Liked by 3 people

  9. I fear so many things (hi i have generalized anxiety) but the one thing that petrifies me the most is the thought of my loved ones dying. I wake up in fear they’ll leave and not know how much I love having them in my life.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I share your fears… losing those I love is also a fear of mine. I guess though it’s good to remember moments spent with them… that’s what makes the memories we have so special 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • That is a fear that is so ingrained in our heart that the more we love the deeper we fear. We get attached to our beloved that even a moment without them haunts us…

      Yet let the fear remind us that no matter life gets busy we should always try to make them feel special as they are for us…since forever is never enough… never will be…

      I still wish about my aunt and hope i could get one more moment to talk to her…but yet life is nothing but uncertain and I have nothing but those precious memories I remember everyday…

      Roy

      Liked by 1 person

  10. According to Dale Carnegie, many people fear public speaking. Do they fear the public’s opinion or behavior after their speech or not being able to convey the message clearly?

    But for me, it’s something else.

    Thunderstorms. It scares out of me.

    In Junior school days, I used to be scared out of fans falling at me”

    Well, let’s simplify it. We all (at least I as of now) fear our death ultimately.

    “All wants to go to heaven, but none wanna die.”

    I sometimes think am I really free? Is not our fears holding us back? Fear of anything and everything, fear of love, fear of lightning, fear of crackers bursting, fear of losing our dear ones, fear of our own imaginable death forecasting possibilities, fear of losing our jobs, fear of unacceptance.

    How wonderful it would be if we can really be free from our fears and accept that death is the sole truth, things would be left incomplete, things would not be taken away with us; accept that the fruits of the trees we plant cannot be tasted by us; accept that we have nothing to take away from this world; accept that we are in lease at the planet; accept that the soulmate we are in search of cannot share the same grave; accept that universe was and would run eternally irrespective of our attendance on eath; accept the uncertainty.

    How do we be fearless? Should we follow Buddha and the monks who left the comfort of lives in search of finding which is uncertain, the truth, the life? Or should we be inspired by Krishna who in the directed Arjuna that the following our karma by utmost devotion to the Supreme is the ultimate way of liberation of the soul, which thereby guarantee the utmost freedom? Is everything linking to the same thing? Anyways, I know It went deep here.

    I hope to cover this milestone someday; if someone has a way or opinion do let me know.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Death is what gives life meaning. If there is no end then there would be an infinite loop of unknown and unstoppable scenarios where humans no longer would try to achieve anything.

      If there is no fear then there is no value of courage.. As they say, “Every action has a equal and opposite reaction”. Which simply means that there is no meaning of start if there is no end, no meaning of courage without fear and so on and so forth..

      Listen to the wise people from the human history.. Question their teachings, argue with their followers, till you actually understand and accept their words.. Buddha, Krishna, Jesus, Prophet Muhammad and others.. They all have some or the other things to teach so be your own hero at the end of the day and learn from the greatest from our history as human race..

      Liked by 2 people

    • It is strange about fear of death. I used to fear it – until when I had cancer I actually was dying. At the time I was not afraid at all. In fact I was joyful. I wanted everyone to celebrate. I went into remission from cancer, and now, somebtime after going into remission, I fear death again. I don’t know why. Maybe it is that when we are staring it in the face we are not fearful. Then when we are not staring it in the face we become fearful again. I wonder if, when it finally comes something is released within us so that we are not afraid? Interesting subject

      Liked by 2 people

      • Death is the ultimate truth of life.. It’s the one thing that will happen to each and everyone of us.. It’s the only constant in life..

        I guess when we are staring at death in the face we are not afraid because we finally accept it and the fact that it is inevitable.. Then when we survive that scare we realize that now we have everything to lose again. At the end of the day we are all humans and death is the biggest or greatest fear of all..

        Dee Kay

        Like

  11. I am in England. Not the country it used to be when I was a kid. Just so much violence now, and people not caring for one another. It is a me me me society. But it has some really nice places and beautiful contryside. Very green. Especially at the moment. I live on the edge of a steel town near to the countryside. I am a country lover rather than the town. Please excuse spelling mistakes as I am blind

    Liked by 2 people

    • Lorraine, I guess most of the countries are changed now. With power and money becoming important people are losing humanity. But there are still good people around who care for each other. Those are blessings though rare. Also I love countryside. Away from crowds and noise of the city.💖

      Liked by 1 person

    • We are from India so we kinda have a history with the English 😁 So I won’t talk about the past..
      Just kidding..
      Violence has become the tool of the rich and power to control the average man.. Its like wild fire spread across the globe.. There is too much darkness in this world that is why I focus on the bright side of the world..
      I too enjoy the silence and calmness of the countryside than the noise and never sleeping cities. English countryside are beautiful.. Although, it rains a lot but then if the site is beautiful and one have nice company then its all worth it..
      I’m sorry to hear about your blindness.. I would surely like to hear about your life story someday..

      Liked by 2 people

      • My blig tells some of my lufestory but I am hopefully going to write it properly. As for the past, well…….I am not part of that. Wasn’t here then, and I respect all peoples and races and religions, and wish equality for all. I am basically just me lol.

        Liked by 2 people

  12. Am afraid of not making it in life. I hate it when year in year out being in the same position. I want to grow, travel, meet people from different race and have all the nice and good things. But these thoughts seem so far away. I need to get there.,

    Liked by 4 people

    • It’s true our fears update thenselves with age, and according to our experiences. Lol I am not sure if I am typing in all the right places! My bigggest fear nowadays is abandonment. And I fear my cancer coming back, for it decimated me and made me like I am now. Yet strangely life is richer for having experienced it. I am noy cured but in remission. Changed me for ever!

      Liked by 1 person

  13. As silly as this will seem I am afraid I am going to spontaneously combust. And while most people are going to laugh and say ‘never’ I am okay with that. I even admit it is a strange one until the day I was taking clothing out of my dryer and it stated ‘To avoid Fire hazard/Injury etc including Spontaneous Combustion’ and I went omg! I am now very kind to the dryer. No overfilling. No large items. Because I do not want to go boom! I hope that this puts a smile on someone’s face.

    Liked by 4 people

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