Message #4 (Ask for help)

Today I received a call from a good friend of mine who recently shifted to USA. I talked for a min or two and I could sense that something was wrong. She told me that she haven’t slept for 4 days. She broke up with her guy and now she just cannot gather the courage to block him or rather just cannot fight that urge to unblock him.

She cried.
Cause she was helpless.

This took me back to the time when I was at the same stage in my life, the only difference was that I had no one to talk to about my helplessness that lasted for more than 3 years.

I was talking to her and telling her that she is much better than this when she did something which I’m my eyes is one of most courageous thing ever, she asked me to be there which means she asked for help.

For many out there this might sound weird and you would be like “honestly what’s so courageous about asking for help? ”
Let me try to explain, so be a little patient and read. When a person is at his/her most vulnerable their 2 ways that person can go.
1) Harm themselves or others.
2) Shut down completely and let that trauma consume them.
But then there is a third way which few people take and that’s,
3) Ask for help.

Why asking for help is a courageous thing?
Well we all have experiences in our lives and our experiences guide our future choices. Now ask yourself this question and then answer it honestly,

When was the last time someone really helped you in an emotionally stressful time without asking or thinking of a favor in return?

Only few would be able to even remember that time while the rest will just say that either they don’t want to share such vulnerable time with others or they just don’t have a trusted one around. Oddly, when I was in my dark place I was a person who fall in two the above categories so that made it worse for me but I also know myself so I know even if I had a person to talk to, I would not told them anything because it’s really difficult for me to ask for help.

So yeah, from my perspective what she did was courageous. I won’t say I’m a professional psychiatrist but I know what being in a dark place means as I learnt it the hard way. I would listen and give her advice but the moment I think she is doing something really wrong then I will force her to go see a professional. I don’t want her to go to professional right away because I don’t want her on meditation and most of the time that’s what the professionals do.

Trust me when I say, most of the issues are resolved by just talking about cause if you have questions then you also have the answers to them. So when you start talking about your feelings you acknowledge them. When you acknowledge them you give them a name, be it anger, pain, hate etc. When you give them a name then you give it an existence, and you can only destroy an existing thing and not an invisible one. Also, when your feelings get a name then you will slowly learn to control them and thus you no longer be slave to your own emotions.

This is being too lengthy so as last I will just say, ” If you need help then ask for it. Don’t let your pride or your fear of being judged, take away your opportunity to live. You are special to many even as your lowest so ask for help in this fight because you are not meant to lose it win, alone. ”

With that I will rest my case.

Thank you for your time.
Stay strong
Stay blessed
Remember you’re not alone.


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9 replies »

  1. What you have written is so true. My girlfriends all came to me when I crashed this past winter to ask me why did I not come to them? How could I have not known that they were there to help me? To get me through what I was going through? And the answer is simple because everyone has their own life and their own problems, I did not want to burden them with mine. Now I realize the danger in not reaching out. And I make sure they know that if they ever need me I am here for them. I have all of them on my favorite call list so if my phone is on DND or Silence they can still get through to me. I have learned a valuable lesson. Asking for help is courageous, that is when we are most vulnerable.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ah! It’s so good to hear that you have such amazing people in your life. And yes, we often think that we don’t wanna burden them with our problems, but we don’t realize that’s the magic of friends and friendship!! They will always reach out whenever you need them.

      Warm Regards

      Liked by 1 person

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