Today I received a call from a good friend of mine who recently shifted to USA. I talked for a min or two and I could sense that something was wrong. She told me that she haven’t slept for 4 days. She broke up with her guy and now she just cannot gather the courage to block him or rather just cannot fight that urge to unblock him.
Cause she was helpless.
This took me back to the time when I was at the same stage in my life, the only difference was that I had no one to talk to about my helplessness that lasted for more than 3 years.
I was talking to her and telling her that she is much better than this when she did something which I’m my eyes is one of most courageous thing ever, she asked me to be there which means she asked for help.
For many out there this might sound weird and you would be like “honestly what’s so courageous about asking for help? ”
Let me try to explain, so be a little patient and read. When a person is at his/her most vulnerable their 2 ways that person can go.
1) Harm themselves or others.
2) Shut down completely and let that trauma consume them.
But then there is a third way which few people take and that’s,
3) Ask for help.
Why asking for help is a courageous thing?
Well we all have experiences in our lives and our experiences guide our future choices. Now ask yourself this question and then answer it honestly,
When was the last time someone really helped you in an emotionally stressful time without asking or thinking of a favor in return?
Only few would be able to even remember that time while the rest will just say that either they don’t want to share such vulnerable time with others or they just don’t have a trusted one around. Oddly, when I was in my dark place I was a person who fall in two the above categories so that made it worse for me but I also know myself so I know even if I had a person to talk to, I would not told them anything because it’s really difficult for me to ask for help.
So yeah, from my perspective what she did was courageous. I won’t say I’m a professional psychiatrist but I know what being in a dark place means as I learnt it the hard way. I would listen and give her advice but the moment I think she is doing something really wrong then I will force her to go see a professional. I don’t want her to go to professional right away because I don’t want her on meditation and most of the time that’s what the professionals do.
Trust me when I say, most of the issues are resolved by just talking about cause if you have questions then you also have the answers to them. So when you start talking about your feelings you acknowledge them. When you acknowledge them you give them a name, be it anger, pain, hate etc. When you give them a name then you give it an existence, and you can only destroy an existing thing and not an invisible one. Also, when your feelings get a name then you will slowly learn to control them and thus you no longer be slave to your own emotions.
This is being too lengthy so as last I will just say, ” If you need help then ask for it. Don’t let your pride or your fear of being judged, take away your opportunity to live. You are special to many even as your lowest so ask for help in this fight because you are not meant to lose it win, alone. ”
With that I will rest my case.
Thank you for your time.
Remember you’re not alone.
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