RUMINATIONS #1 : Journey of Failures

RUMINATIONS is a NEW segment of the BLOG. This page will share the moments of soul searching from Neel’s life. Hope his introspection becomes a source of motivation for others.

Diary Entry :   Journey Begins… SATURDAY…28-01-17 1408 hrs

“Regret
…you have not been selected for the next stage of shortlist for interview… “


The computer screen displayed the message for the tenth time. It has become a ritual now for me to linger on a hope to take a step towards my dream only to find myself standing far away from it. It was the sixth and the last time that I appeared for business school entrance exam and did fail again to get into the interview rounds. The whole journey of 6 years came before my eyes…surmounting my mind…overshadowing my senses. The ultimate agony and distress of failure hit me hard this time and I wanted to run away as far away as possible…away from society…away from this race…away from myself…But here I am writing back to myself in a hope to alleviate my stress…

I have spent the past few days lamenting about the outcome of my perseverance and honest efforts to secure a seat in a good business schools. What should I do next?…must be the million dollar question for me…but I must apprise you that people have already given their precious speculations about it…some say that since even after my sixth attempt I could not succeed, I should understand that this is no more my cup of tea…others say to go for other fields of studies…as if those were a cake walk and every guy next door could hit a bulls-eye in them…there are few who just wants me to go for whatever college I can get into only to be able to leave my current place…But I live by my CHOICE and wont compromise them since these DECISIONS and CHOICES of mine are what define me…

Yeah I have spent sleepless night and tonight is one of those too when I lie awake talking to myself….listening songs and pouring out my heart on you while carrying the burden of my obscure destiny……Now since I realized I did not have any such person with whom I can share my emotions truly and get a worthy advice…I therefore thought it was better to talk to someone who can listen to me with complete patience and so here I am spilling my emotions on you, my diary.

I cannot end this note on dismal tone…no matter how sad I am…Everyone says everything happens for a reason…but few believe in it…include me as a non- believer…but now this is the only hope that walks beside me…It makes me realize the extent to what I have gone crazy for the things that have failed me…to develop passion for the things that have mentioned my qualities to be non-concurring within their world…I might have lost the battle to this day…but one thing I promise to myself and to you that no matter how low I feel and how lost I seem…I will come back strong and prove them wrong since I can and I will…watch me…

Each failure has taught me to stand and face the next obstacle and then to move on the road ahead. Thus this failure too can falter me for a moment but cannot deter me of my path. I have chosen my journey and I cannot give up the commitment that I had promised her- my journey.
Huhh, now it is only me and her…I do not know what destiny awaits me at the end…but one thing I can say for sure…

hold me and I will try to run again…
stop me and I will start again….
defeat me and I will stand to win again…
I have started to love this journey and I will find always a way to meet her again…
I have promised to see her till the end and I cannot break that promise…
so here continues my journey again…!!!

Lets do this for 7th time…hell yeah !!!

Neel

PS : Diary, thanks for listening !!!

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49 comments

  1. I am proud of you Shomo. Failures can’t stop you. And now you have won your battle. So, you an inspiration to many who are fighting their own battles.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I believe in you. You’re too awesome of a person to NOT get what you deserve in this life. DONT GIVE UP! YOU GOT THIS! Don’t let those fools in corporate world to tell you otherwise. You’re history story will be that more awesome once you achieve your goals. You can truly say that you worked hard! Stay strong my brown brother from another mother country 😉🤗 You got this ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Can I ask: do you really think like this, inside of your head? I mean the way you are writing his thoughts is very difficult (too smart) lol oki, I understand he’s a businessman to be, but don’t they have like …normal aka usual thoughts? :/

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I don’t know if this will help but when this occurs to me I think of Jay Z. When he was unable to get a record contract he sold his CDs out the back of his car. Your path may not be the direct route but like Jay Z you will find a means. Keep the faith

    Liked by 1 person

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