Author : Amrita Nandi
Title : Men Don’t Cry?
The excited eyes were glaring and the eager ears were fixed onto the history teacher standing before them giving them a lesson for life which is very mandatory in today’s world, and they kept nodding when he said, “A real man never hurts a woman.. It’s a man’s job to respect a woman…”
Sitting in one corner of the room, he lay his chin over his hands while leaning over the desk, and was mulling over the incidents from lunch. Suddenly he got up hearing the thud.
“ahh.. our wonder boy is again in his wonderland..”, the history teacher remarked while the others scoffed at Akash, a PhD student doing his research in fossils.
“Nothing much, just some happenings over lunch carried me away in today’s reality..” he mumbled
“why?? Didn’t get enough food to fill your big belly,” the professor said with a wink.
A coy by nature, who had managed to make few friends while his research, he could feel everyone’s eyes fixated on him..
“On one hand we protest if a man says something ill to a woman by lighting candles, by voicing in social media or by raising slogans.. on the other many bluntly make statements that all men are dogs..” he finally replied with a thoughtful expression on his face
As soon as he ended his sentence, his fellows started gossiping about it…
“I don’t see where you want to lead to by stating such things,” the prof. remarked.
“I am just saying in a generic manner” he said while comforting himself on the chair.
Without paying much heed to Akash’s thought, the professor went on with his lecture.
However, the thought had leached onto Akash and few minutes later he spoke about something, out of the blue…
“It is very important for a man to respect a lady but in our society, women are taught to respect men because they happen to be their father or an elder brother or their husband’s… beyond that men are being taken for granted…”
The mocking faces soon turned quiet and stared at him as he continued…
“Does a man need no respect?? Does a man not get offended on hearing comments where we are being called as dogs and rapists?? Almost negligible in number of protests or in raising slogans when ill is spoken about us. Look at him with a huge protruding belly or deteriorating hairline or you are not man enough, if you are late in growing beard or you cry.. For many we have just become an object to mock on and sadly we are always judged…
“…Till date a significant proportion of sexual abuse even include abuse of men. And mostly they try to hide it as they are afraid that people might misinterpret their sexual orientations and term them as gay. And in India the law doesn’t even recognize that they can be abused too…”
“…Couples keep on giving birth till a male child is born but as soon as we obtain our puberty, you are the one who sees us as a murderer, a thief, and most of the time as rapist.. .
the volcano had erupted.. his prof was dumbstruck but he finally asked confused..”what are you saying?? Did something happen to you over lunch??”
but Akash continued …”Another boy sitting across the room said that a woman was verbally abusing a boy and even slapped him over but none said a word because he happened to be a male. But do you think people wouldn’t say anything if similar thing happens with a girl..???”
“…You all will find the answer within you.. n it will be a “NO…”
“…As a boyfriend we are supposed to bear all expenses and if your partner contributes you are termed as “incompetent;” as a husband we are supposed to sing praises of our wives, otherwise God save us.. but if you tell something good about your wife in front of your friends or colleagues, you will be tagged as “Joru ka Gulam”- servant of your wife.. As a brother if you try to be protective and warn your sister about any friends of her then we become “harassing overprotective brother..” I agree some of us do suppress their partner, some of us uses their girlfriend’s only for pleasure and some even hit their sister irrespective he may be younger to her.. I also agree that many of us are murderers, eve-teasers and rapists; BUT not because they are male.. but because they who do it have a retarded mentality…”
“…Why can’t a husband appreciate her wife in front of his friends, why can’t a man shed his tear to relief his burden without being given any tags.. The society is still not ready to accept that women are not only the one fighting fiercely to make sure their rights are respected.. Huhh.. maybe it teaches us to be hypocrites.. then we might be able to meet its standards…”
“Don’t let gender roles hold our society back.. we all are responsible for a safer place to live on.. Respect a man beyond the reasons of being a father, a brother or a husband.. respect a man for being a man.. Respect him because HE DESERVES IT…”
with this Akash took the bag from the desk and left the class…
Seeing Akash leave the room, I thought how wrong I have been in being judgemental and assuming every male to be the same. I know there are rotten apples in our society…might be a lot of those…but if we can’t identify the good ones from the bad, then aren’t those few good men would encounter the same harassments and similar emotions like we face..
Now the question is left onto us…
Are we going to brand every man in our society with the STIGMA
Are we going to help them to become the warriors for women’s cause…the protector of mother, sisters and wives…and the guardian angel to look over us…!!!
(Disclaimer – The copyright of this article is reserved by the author)