PS: Skye I forgive you…
What !!! Can he really forgive me?
Though forgiveness was what my heart yearned every single moment, it somehow did not feel right that these four words can absolve me of my deeds. Not even a single day has passed that HER face did not haunt me. I have tried so hard to box away those memories. I have struggled so hard to de-link myself from all the ties. I have run so many miles away from my past. Still, a heart remembers. You cannot fool it. It keeps locked all those memories within itself only to unleash it on you at the most appropriate moment and to deluge you in its waves never to recover from it ever again. And that appropriate moment came now for me. I am feeling an incurable ache within myself…a pain that has no remedy…an idelible mark etching itself over and over again on my heart.
DAMN KAI!!! Your forgiveness feels more painful than your hatred.
Each of those unstoppable teardrop unlocked the innumerable emotions-filled images of my brother…
15 years back:
31st DECEMBER 2001
The tires screeched in the middle of the road and came to an abrupt halt. I almost fell off the backseat as the car stopped.
“Skye stay inside.” a heavy grumpy voice commanded me.
“Daddy, Please daddy”
“Keep shut girl. No damn voice should come out of that damn lips” the croak tone in his voice sent a shiver down my nerves.
I have always been scared of my Dad. BATSHIT SCARED!!!
I guess everyone gets afraid like me while speaking in front of him because of his huge and bulky physical appearance. He always wears a black suit as he was wearing now. His hair was neatly combed and parted sideways. I looked up at him with those watery eyes and saw the usual red tie glistening even in the darkness of the night, placed perfectly within the collar-valley of the white shirt.
Unaffected to my feelings, he banged the door of the car shut. Along with him the driver too got out of the car. The black skin-tight t-shirt and knee-ripped LEVIS gave away the brawny physic of the driver. The dark skin complexion and the baldness amplified the monstrosity in his persona. He gave me the most weird smile, flashing his crooked teeth, before jumping out of his seat.
Helpless and Clueless I stayed inside, watching the two men making their way towards the docks.
All of a sudden, I realised where the car was stopped and how lost I had been throughout the ride that I did not discern the seriousness of mistake that I had committed.
Oh No Goddamn No.
I know this place. I told them of this place.
Ohh shit…I never did realise that how convoluted and mean my dad could be.
Hastily I tried to open the doors but the car was locked and key was nowhere to be found inside. Instantly the weird smile of the driver flashed in front of my eyes making me realise what a fool I have been all this time. My dad who never have cared anything other than himself can never take out his little girl to a dinner. He lured me and I faltered so easily in front of him.
Shit Skye. Think. Think. Think.
I picked up my cellphone and dialled Kai’s number. Kai could handle any situation…no matter how worse it could get…always somehow knew what was the right thing to do…
DAMN. No Network.
I jumped in the front seat and tried to look what was happening at the docks. The night was sheathed in darkness. Even the moon had slipped in the blackness. I rolled down the windows and a gush of cool salty breeze filled my nose and mouth. I tried to get out of the window hole but to no success. As I managed to get my head outside, I felt numbness in my senses looking at the sight. I needed to do something before everything went out of control. I pulled my head inside. I had to get out of this stupid car.
COME ON SKYE. GET THE HELL OUT. YOU CAN DO THIS.
I sat back on the front seat, hinged my hips upwards, bend my knees and with all force struck the front shield of the car with my heels. These pointed sandals had always been a nuisance to my feet but today they might just prove useful. I struck again with my feet as hard as I could. Meanwhile I could hear the noises mixed with all the clamors, cries and screams, down at the docks, and felt the surge of fear within me. I had no time to waste and so I focused and thrust my feet with full strength until the shield gave away and shattered all over the bonnet. I made my way out, removed my sandals and ran.
I ran like a crazy. I kept running. I did not stop until I could see their faces. BUT I was late… so late
“No No Noooooooooooo” cries flushed out my lips
“No No Daddy No No” I fell on my knees in front of them.
“Please Stop. Pls Daddy Stop” I kept on blubbering…my cries mixed with sobs…tears running down my eyes filling my mouth.
“STOPPPPPPPPP DAAADDD” Panicked and Confused, I could not understand how to stop him other than to cry on top of my voice…Ohh my brother…
There he was…my little brother laying on his back with broken twisted legs, right before me at the end of the pier. His shirt was ripped in places and the jeans clung to his hips, indicating the intense fight he did put up. He tried hard to get up using his elbow but couldn’t…redness was smeared on all over his face…trickles of blood stream made way from his temples to his eyelids and ran down his skin. The driver stood over him with a baseball bat raised in his hands. My Dad stood next to the driver, his back towards me. Through the gap between them, I saw his fingers gripping tightly a pistol that pointed right to HER forehead. She was kneeling in front of him and Kai kept quavering beside her. Forcing himself up on his elbows and Stretching his arms towards her, Kai pleaded…cursed…yelled…screamed…cried… to them… anything he could at that moment do to saver HER…
“Gabriel, take away the stupid girl. I told her to be in the car. This stupid little shit of mine”
His voice seemed so rough yet stable, but I could make out his blood-red eyes that looked down at me.
The bald guy lowered the bat as hard as he could….
and hit Kai’s head, knocking him unconscious, before he came for me, pulling me away from the scene.
However, all I could hear was the husky voice that I had loved so much for so long, now shredded to bits as they came to me…”Why Skye…Why YOU!!!” as Kai’s breath gave away.
I kept snivelling and howling not to leave Kai while Gabriel held my arm and kept pulling me away. I thought I was fighting his pull until I realized that Kai’s face was fading away from my sight. I felt lost in my world. The two persons that had made my life worth living were being snatched away from me. And all I could do was nothing to save them…could do nothing to prevent everything from falling apart…only to realise after all it was my fault…
I was lost in my thoughts but my eyes were transfixed to the muzzle of the pistol. If i could just save her…if i could just throw myself before her…will that redeem my sin…???
I pulled myself away from Gabriel and scurried towards HER, covering as much ground as I could between us. I was almost next to her, when I felt the bullet swarm past me, kissing away my shoulders and deafening my ears with the loud sound. The whole sky reverberated with one shot and then everything went to complete silence at once.It happened so swiftly that I failed to comprehend until I saw the smoke leaving out of the muzzle.
I stood stupefied looking towards HER, only to see HER falling down from the edge of the pier towards the dark sea…the red dress drapped around her…the ends of the apparel fluttering around her knees, displaying her smooth fair skin…her arms wide streched…a smile on the pretty face…and and those beautiful GREEN eyes wide open looking straight into my heart.
The vista was too much for my mind to hold…NO NO NO NO…GODDDD….NO…WHY SKYE WHY…I kept hearing Kai’s voice in my head….until slowly everything started to blur in front of my eyes. There was nothing but darkness all around as I fell down deep into the abyss of it wherein I could see only those GREEN eyes that kept searching for KAI’s…
to be continued…